Dreams and Animations

I spent last night animating icons and didn't get to sleep until after 6 AM. While it felt really good to do some simple animation after not having animated for a very long time, sleeping sucked. I had a dream that I was at my parents' old house with Reno and I had been sitting on top of the jungle gym doing art (because that's what I did when I was a kid). I heard sirens and looked off in the distance and there was a huge tornado headed my way. I ran inside to tell my father and he thought he had time to grab something off the porch to bring it inside. While he was out there, I asked him if he could grab my art supplies that I left on the monkey bars. He agreed, but there was no time. The wind came howling by and my father was slowly lifted off his feet.

The look on his face was absolutely horrifying. He had nothing to grab on to, as the trees that were originally in the spot where he was standing were there no longer. I tried to throw him a dog leash, but it was no use. I had no other choice but to watch my father be lifted off the ground and die.

I forced myself awake before the dream actually got past the initial lifting, but I've not had a dream so branded into my brain in a long time. I have nightmares all of the time, but this is the most disturbing that I've had in awhile. I know I've said recently that I wish my parents would die, but I don't think I meant it. As much as I do not get along with my parents, I do feel guilty for all the cruel things that I have said and done. I just don't know how to stop it anymore. They still get under my skin in ways that most people don't. It's probably not as much a problem with them as it is a problem with me. Maybe I am broken.

( Animations! )

Publishing

[Poll #1611224]

I have a book that has been in the works for awhile... I'm slowly putting it together- gathering old material, making new material... I hope it'll be pretty great... However, I'm still debating on whether I should try for a publisher or just self-publish it.

I know that really, self-publishing means absolutely nothing and is kind of laughable to any writers that have legitimately been published. I also know that is possible to get a real publishing deal after having self-published.

The book is a book of poetry matched with photography- if that makes a difference.

I don't know. What do you guys think?