Chris and I went to the Bella Morte concert in Columbus on Friday night. We arrived super early because apparently I don't read things correctly. We arrived at Outland a few minutes before 8, thinking that the doors opened around 8 and the show started at 9... but I was so wrong. So, so, so wrong. We arrived and the Outland crew was saying that the doors didn't open until 9... and Bella Morte didn't even go on until about 12:30. I didn't even realize they had an opening band, Angels on Acid.

I guess that's what I get for just seeing, "Bella Morte is here" and then going without really looking at anything.

It was no problem, though. Andy greeted us as soon as he saw us walk by and we chatted a little bit...

Our two hour drive was worth it... and maybe even the several hours that we sat on a couch avoiding club kids. The show was awesome- both Angels on Acid and Bella Morte were great, although AOA gave me a bit of a headache after awhile. They're one of those electronic industrial dancey bands whose 45 minute set sounds like one entire song. At least it was a 45-minute decent song. But like I said, headache after awhile... but that might be my fault because I like to position myself right on top of speakers in the front row.

Andy dedicated the song, "Remorse" to me... That song has always been special to me... and now it's even more so!

It was a great night and it really made up for the tragedy that occurred earlier in the day. My laptop decided it should no longer function. Along with all the problems that I've stated in previous entries, it also no longer recognizes that it is plugged into the wall. So Chris and I are hoping that it is just the power cord. We bought one to replace it for three dollars. Hopefully it will be enough to at least get all my important stuff (like my photos, poetry, and other things).

Today (which is still Saturday to me, even though it's not for anyone else), Chris' family threw a wedding party for us. We walked away with $250- 75 of which were in singles in a box because his aunt was upset she didn't get to see the wedding. Chris' great-grandmother told me that she has underwear older than me. She also said that she passes the family crown to me because I'm not going to have any kids and she doesn't want anymore children in the family (Seriously, if I could eat children, I'd freeze these children and never worry about going hungry again. There are a billion of them). Hah!

Also, all of his aunts and grandparents were discussing the last time they all shat their pants in great detail.

It's been an interesting past few days.
asile_de_fou: (Default)
( Oct. 29th, 2010 11:29 am)
I've made a dreamwidth account. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I'm moving over there, but I've imported all of my entries from all of my accounts. I wanted to compile everything into one, and that was the easiest way to do it. Now if they could import from deadjournal before the site implodes. Deadjournal is currently looking for donations to keep the site running. If I lose my deadjournal, I lose all the entries that started the relationship between Chris and me... and that would not be cool. :(

Anyway, my dreamwidth is the same as here:

Now I just have to set it up in a way to make me happy.

I don't know if I'll start using it instead because I'm so comfortable with LiveJournal, but maybe it is time to move on.
asile_de_fou: (Default)
( Oct. 27th, 2010 05:04 pm)
My mother's things are creepy.

Ghost by =asesinatuya on deviantART
Chris, Thomas, and I went to Michigan Saturday morning. Our show was for a bunch of college kids. We had no idea how many people would show up for it because it was one of those school committee events, but we had about 300 people... And they were AMAZING. The room we performed in had really interesting acoustics, too, so their screams and cheers bounced off the walls and made it seem like even more people were there. They were probably the most responsive audience I've ever had. They were very easily amused and amazed. Only one person got a shirt and I think Chris only made about $10 in tips, but it was pretty cool. I thought I got my picture taken a lot doing the fairs over the summer, but I think I beat that record last night. I am pretty sure my picture was taken with every single member of the audience- some twice- and I discovered that I am now all over Facebook.

I really love performing and I do wish it was possible that I could do it full time. Chris and I are trying to figure out how we want to do next year because we don't want anymore misunderstandings like this year (and because Thomas asked), but I don't think it's possible for us to make any set in stone decisions about next year right now when our lives are very much up in the air.

FSD is doing the New Orleans Fringe Festival in a couple of weeks and we are invited to go. We really want to go, but because the only money we have was made over this weekend and we aren't getting any other work, we wouldn't be able to eat down there without spending all our money. We'd come back with nothing because it's an unpaid event... but it's New Orleans... and New Orleans is awesome.


Also, Chris threw knives at me Saturday night (first time done on stage). With the exception of the first two knives bouncing off the board (and NOT hitting me, thankfully), it was still a success. I don't know about anyone else, but having a husband that throws knives at you is kind of hot. Maybe soon I'll get good enough and we can switch. I can hit targets for the most part, but throwing around someone freaks me out right now.

I threw darts at Chris, though. It was awesome.
Christopher is busy making 3D models for a contest, meaning I can't play The Sims 3 or pester him... so I decided to do a journal with random facts (and some confessions) about myself.

1.) I'm really good with make-up, despite the fact that I hardly ever wear it. However, being around stylists and make-up artists makes me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious. I also get annoyed when I'm NOT the make-up artist in a film- especially when there are gore effects. I have a small part in a short film coming up, called Zombie Punk Attack, and I'm not the make up artist. This makes me feel sick inside and makes me wonder how Savini feels when he's acting in a movie where he isn't the special effects artist. Supposedly it's someone that does it professionally, so maybe I'll learn something. It still makes me feel weird, though. Jealousy, maybe?

2.) People ALWAYS want to put me in FRONT of the camera despite the fact that I am my best (and most comfortable) behind the camera. I become a terrible, terrible person on camera. If I'm in a close-up and have set actions and lines, I will giggle incessantly. If I'm being interviewed, I become brutally honest and vicious.

3.) I subconsciously make people think that I'm more awkward than I am. This probably makes no sense, but if I know that someone thinks I'm incredibly shy or awkward, I will act upon the implied expectations ten-fold. I'm really more eccentric than awkward and more misanthropic than shy.

4.) My LiveJournal is full of exaggerations and conversations that never actually took place between my mother and me. However, the image that I fabricated is how she really is in my eyes.

5.) I absolutely hate paying someone to do something that I can do myself- especially in food or personal care junk, like manicures and pedicures. Also, a lot of the Asian women in the nail salons file nails back and forth, which makes your nails brittle.

6.) I once told my stylist in Dayton that my mother saw getting my eyebrows waxed as taboo. It's not true. My mother couldn't care less if I ever got my eyebrows waxed. However, she thinks it's silly- which is why I went through most of my life until about 8th grade with a unibrow. Even then I only got tweezed and started doing it myself after I got tired of my mother missing my eyebrow hairs.

7.) I've led people to believe that I'm sheltered. I'm not sheltered. I just don't care about a lot of things that normal people do- like drinking.

8.) I still feel like my mother controls me.

9.) I can't drink or eat anything that has been sitting around for more than 15 minutes. I feel like it's gone bad and will probably kill me or make me sick.

10.) I get really paranoid at night. I always think someone is watching me. I check behind shower curtains and run in the hallway to get away from who or whatever it is. When I was a kid, I always thought that kids in school set up spy cameras in my room to see what I was doing so they could make fun of me the next day. Once, the boy I liked said that he and his friends never actually made fun of me. I often wonder if what I'm experiencing is just paranoia or if it's really happening.

11.) I believe in ghosts and the occult and most of that stuff. It's probably because I'm paranoid and there is something wrong with my brain. I'm skeptical of other people that believe, though.

12.) I love to be helpful. I'm always ecstatic when someone comes to me looking for help because they believe I know something or am good at something. I absolutely HATE HATE HATE it when someone says, "I asked you to do this because I thought you needed it." Fighting words.

That's all I have for today.
asile_de_fou: (Default)
( Oct. 19th, 2010 07:45 pm)
Here is the link to the Doritos commercial that we made the other day.

I'd be happy if we won and I really want to support the commercial and the project I'd be working on if we won... but in all total honesty, I'm not happy with this commercial at all. I think the idea Joe was going for is going to be completely lost on everyone. My father couldn't piece it together. I, personally, feel that there are some key elements (that we shot) completely missing.

So vote for whatever commercial you think deserves to win. I won't be offended if you don't vote for ours. That is, if you even vote. The website doesn't work right on this computer, so I don't know how the contest works.

I feel like I should be proudly sporting this commercial regardless of how I feel about it, but I can't. Sorry, Joe.

Also, this commercial was shot on the Canon 5D... a bandwagon that I am still not on.
Yesterday, Chris and I went to Kings Island's Halloween Haunt. It was okay... They had turned over the Enterprise and had skeletons taking it over. All of their decorations were basically from when they were owned by Paramount and so they desecrated them in some way. A lot of the decor looked like absolute crap and I'm not sure why they were acceptable... Chris and I did a better job when we were making the trailer to my vampire film, Confession in 2007. They only had characters walking around near the entrance of the park and just had fog machines everywhere. The fog was a cool effect and it looked neat as you were exiting Kings Island, but the machines were set up right next to the path, so when they turned them on, you were unable to see anything at all.

I liked how most of the park was in darkness, so I couldn't see all the morons walking around.

The haunted attractions were lame. Chris and I only went through four of them, trying to avoid the ones that we've done before. We did the Cornstalkers, which was okay- but only because one of the actors started pretending to be Chris, walking behind me, and then jumped out at me. Everyone else was not very good, but it might be because I could see them in their hiding places. The line for Cornstalkers was insanely long and the haunt itself only took about two minutes to walk through.

We went through the Slaughterhouse, which relied mostly on gore and gross out decor to scare people. It was awful. Looking through the props, I could tell you at which stores they've been shopping. I owned half the props in it. They also had a giant pig carcass and horse heads on the wall. It made me more sad than anything, hah. In this one, the actors stood around and walked back and forth. Absolutely awful.

There was a pirate-themed haunt, but I'm not sure of the title. It was my favorite, but all the pirates just wanted to be my friend because of my hair. They didn't really want to scare me- or try.

We also went through Cemetery Drive. I liked the scenery, but the costuming was a little wrong because the women weren't wearing corsets with their hooped skirts and it just made them look frumpy instead of an inverted triangle on top. The actors just stood in front of us and stared in this one, making it extra extra lame.

I had fun, though. I like going to Halloween attractions just to make fun of them and thinking of what I would do better.

Now I go off to shoot a Doritos commercial with my Dayton friends.

I drive too much.
asile_de_fou: (Remycheese)
( Oct. 15th, 2010 02:52 am)
The other day, Christopher and I were browsing through some of the entries I wrote around the time we met (on another journal) and I laughed when I came across [ profile] peopledump. I had completely forgotten about it and it's just funny to me because I recently made [ profile] rage_face.

In other news, I need to make my own journal layout because absolutely none of these premade ones suit me... and I also want to completely redo my icons. I don't know what I want, though.
Okay, so my friend's page is not updating fast enough with interesting stuff. I blame part of this on the fact that I recently cut the communities and friends I watch down by a lot. I removed communities and people that I had been continuously skipping over or just didn't feel connected with anymore.

So this is how it goes. In the comments, name some of your favorite journals and communities. I will go check them out and see if I'm interested. :)

Things I am not interested in:
Add me communities
People that post only once in a blue moon
Whiny people
Iconists and photoblogs (I like people that post icons and pictures, but not if that's all they post)

Other than that, anything is game. Even if you think I'm not interested in whatever it is (unless it's one of the above), post it anyway.

With that said, I will do the same.

[ profile] trillian_stars
[ profile] kylecassidy
[ profile] rockstarvanity

I picked them because they do stuff.

[ profile] veganpeople They always have interesting discussions, but lately it's been a lot of "No. This is the right way." I'm still figuring out where I personally stand on a lot of points and it's interesting to see what they have to say when certain LJ users of the group don't jump in and police you. I like it, though, despite the vegan police.

[ profile] worldofwarcraft I like this group for obvious reasons.

That's all I have that I find EXTREMELY interesting.
People keep asking me if Chris and I are going to buy a house. I don't understand this. Just because we're married does not mean that I want to plant myself in one spot... in Ohio.

Let's get this straight. Okay? Chris and I are married because we love each other- not because we want to have sex, not because we want kids, and not because of any social convention. We are married just because we love each other.

In all honesty, I find marriage to be a pointless social convention because it doesn't change anything about our relationship or how we do anything. Despite all this, though, I want to spend the rest of my life with him and if the way I have to prove it to the world is by having some legal document saying that we belong to each other (or more likely that I belong to him, since my name is the one that is supposed to change), then I will. I guess technically, we're also married because there was no other way to force my parents to put my life in my control since all the laws are changing. Now, it'd be easier on me that I could have been put back on my parents' insurance plans and everything in January, but it would just give them another reason to hold me back from something else.

As it has been, I've had a lot of difficulty straightening things out with my student loans and all that stuff just because my parents have been taking care of it.

I want to do everything myself. I want the documents. I want the information. I want to be in control.

Anyway, back to the house thing. Why would we buy a house? Everyone who is anyone knows that we don't have the money for a house... and I'm pretty sure most people realize that I have no desire to own a house at this point in my life. I'm perfectly fine with temporary living because I want to get out of Ohio ASAP... and not only that, but I'd be perfectly content in a gypsy caravan if it meant I could bring my animals with me.

So... NO. We are NOT buying a house. NO. We are NOT having kids (AND NO WE DID NOT GET MARRIED BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT. I'M NOT PREGNANT. IF I WAS, I WOULD EITHER BE ON SUICIDE WATCH OR DEAD. OKAY?). I married him because I love him, not because I see him as some kind of baby-making, white-picket fence machine.

We might be married, but we're hardly "settled down."

We're still the same annoying people that we've always been.
I heard about this contest through [ profile] choke, but I thought some of you guys might be interested as well! It's for a gamer's prize pack (keyboard, mouse, headset, etc.) by Razer. They're pretty nice... I always drool over them in the store and hope that one day I will have the money to afford them.

Anyway, they're giving away 1337 prize packs. Check it out. If you're going to enter, make sure you follow that link because it's a referral to me. You'll get a referral link as well. Even if you aren't a gamer, you should enter... but if you don't want it, I'll happily take it off your hands. :D

Honestly, though, I think even if you AREN'T a gamer, you'll end up wanting to keep it.
Hi. I have a lot going on. Short entry will be short.

I got married.

That would be Travis, [ profile] revsphynx, acting as Zaphod Beeblebrox and binding us by the Hitchhiker's Guide. Christopher says that when we put our rings together, it will summon Douglas Adams, but it seems we're 40 rings short as it hasn't worked yet.

I picked up my prize pack from the CW. They gave me a copy of my commercial, so I uploaded it to YouTube for those of you that are far away and were unable to see it.

I might write a real entry about the past few days' events, but I don't know if I'll ever get to it.

Christopher and I are doing a show with FSD in Michigan on the 23rd.

That is all.
Since Tuesday, I had been staying at Christopher's house. I came back to my parents' house today just because I needed to do laundry and I thought maybe I'd get some work done while being away from Christopher for awhile. I have articles to write, pictures to edit, organizing to do for my book, and scriptwriting to do.

I got back to my parents' house and decided to take another shower... and some time while I was in the shower, my laptop decided to shut itself down. For those of you that aren't aware of why this is such a horrible, terrible thing, I will tell you.

My laptop is broken. Once it turns off, there is no other way to turn it back on other than to hot wire it with a paperclip because the power button and motherboard no longer connect, really. Since Christopher has all the necessary tools for hot wiring the laptop (and because I'm afraid that if I open it up and lift the keyboard, I'll just make things even worse), I am currently on my father's desktop computer which is, surprisingly, 20 times worse than my laptop when it's on.

So I'm basically going through everything possible that can build me a new desktop (because my desktop computer is at Christopher's house, it's old, and for some reason won't send a signal to the monitor half the time) or buy me a new laptop.

Naturally, the answer is money and a job. GOD I wish I could get both. There are a few dates I could possibly do with FSD, but I'm not so sure they would fix any of my financial problems. All I want to do right now is to fix everything in my personal life that feels broken... I've applied nearly everywhere from customer service jobs to professional animator and graphics jobs and so far, nothing. :(

I need $100 by the 23rd, too.

At least my income based repayment on my student loans went through.

I've been trying very hard to make the most out of my time off tour and without "real" work, trying to do the things I enjoy... but so far, they haven't given me much.

Despite all this, there are good things happening. I get married on Sunday. We have the rings, we have the marriage license...

I just feel like exploding. I'm incredibly nervous because my parents are going to completely disapprove and their wrath is going to slam into my head like a sledgehammer on a cinder block... and all because of my finances.

I think I'll be hiding at Christopher's for a week again.
Hah! I WON something. AMAZING!

I am officially in the running for Cincinnati's Fiercest Female on the CW. My "story" will be highlighted during tonight's episode of Nikita (at 9:00). If I win Fiercest Female, I get to go to the National Spy Museum in Washington DC.

So far I've won a prize pack (make up case, lipstick pen, t-shirt, temporary tattoos, and one year's membership to Victory Lady Fitness).

I'm pretty excited. I can't remember for the life of me what I wrote about, though.

November 11, they will open voting to the public... So I better be able to count on all of you!! :P
asile_de_fou: (Default)
( Oct. 5th, 2010 09:25 pm)
I'm going to make a community here where you can talk about whatever the fuck you want. I'm hardly going to moderate it... I probably won't even look at it. I don't care if people get offended. If people do get offended, GOOD FOR THEM.

The only rules are you can't post anything against the terms of service. I don't care if people are mean. I don't care if there are trolls. I just. Don't. CARE.

I'm tired of people saying, "BUT I DON'T LIKE THAT. THAT SHOULD GO AWAY."

People SHOULD get offended, but it doesn't mean that we all have to be politically correct all the fucking time. Nothing gets accomplished when we just smile and nod to someone else's beliefs.

So there.

I guess it'd just be a watered down 4chan.

Done [ profile] rage_face.
asile_de_fou: (Coolrats)
( Oct. 3rd, 2010 05:17 pm)
I originally didn't want to post these because of the poor quality (very little light in Christopher's room), but I think cute rats makes up for grainy photos.

Harlot and Jezebel noses.

Mojo being squished by Jezebel and Harlot.


No pictures of the boys this time around.
Life is not exactly moving as I had hoped it would be by now. I don't know what to do and I don't really know if I want advice. I don't really have anything against advice, it just seems that any time I do something other than what I want to do or what I think is best for me, I get screwed over in some way. So I'm not listening to anyone unless they actually have a real lead.

I have a billion applications and résumés out. I still have to follow up on all of them. Some of the work I am intending to get is not going to be seen as legit work by my parents... but I'd get paid for it.

I'm selling a lot of my parents' junk on Craigslist. A lot of it is big furniture-type stuff and I get to keep any money I make from it. On one hand, it's great for both my parents and me. They get rid of junk, I get money... but the down side is that I'm going to have trouble convincing people that they want this stuff.

Both of the wedding bands have arrived and they're great-looking. Mine will have to be re-sized because my ring only came in a size 7 and I apparently wear a 5 and a half. My engagement ring is off being re-sized and for the past week, my finger has felt incredibly naked. I should have it back by Tuesday, supposedly. I really hope that they didn't fuck it up.

8 days until we 42.

Monday I have a photoshoot with my hip hop friend. He wants some atypical rapper photos, which will be great for my portfolio, I think. Also, I've never done SFX makeup on a black person before and this is a real concern of mine. Don't laugh. I'm not getting paid, which is a shame, but I've owed him this favor for a long time... and hopefully it means in the future that he will let me use him for audio and tunes for my short films.

A friend of mine in Dayton did the Doritos commercial contest last year and his was in the top six through out the whole run of the contest, getting his commercial seen during the Super Bowl. I didn't know him then, but now he asked for my help and I think it would be cool. Hopefully the commercial is a winner this year.

I have a film project in my head and I've been slowly working on it. I wanted to have it released by Halloween, but unless I seriously start taking names and kicking some ass, it won't happen until December. I have high hopes for this project, so I better kick myself into gear now.

I'm running two groups on deviantART. One is my animation group and October is pre-production month because the pre-production for animation resources are seriously lacking. It is my goal to have more useful materials in the group and on deviantART to help animators do what they need to do more efficiently and professionally by the end of October. I have successfully planned out each week with my co-founders and now I'm just hoping for the best and crying because I haven't prepared my crap for this coming week yet. My group was the first and only animation resource group for awhile and now it's competing with one other and the guy that runs it runs it purely for his ego. He even denies resources because he doesn't agree with the teaching method. I'm not going to rant about it now. I'm done. I'm finished being pissed off at this stupidity.

The other group is an endangered species group. I am a co-founder and there are mainly three of us that really run the group. It's for art featuring endangered species (any art) and I'm a little bit more strict on things that come in than the others... and I'm worried that it's going to cause inconsistencies and disputes. The group is rather new, so we're working on getting word out about it.

I haven't written any articles for TDIV lately and I really need to. My mind has just been elsewhere.

I have some other projects to work on... For example, a pair of pants that I've been working on fixing up to my standards for nearly six months (no, six months of work was not put into them), business cards, my other blogs, some short animations, and a lot of other stuff in my head...

And now I have the WoW beta.

My sister invited me to her friends' Halloween party on the 23rd that is kind of a big deal locally. It's called Halloween Hootenanny. There are bands and it's sponsored by Horrorhound... and it sounds like a lot of fun. I've never gotten to go and I would like to go this year, but Chris is my deciding factor and if he ends up not wanting to go, then I guess it'll be a bust.

Halloween night, my friend Nina is having a party (at least, I think it is Halloween night). I'm actually REALLY excited for this because I haven't been able to hang out with friends on Halloween in YEARS. This is actually the most free I've been in October for a long time and I finally get to do Halloween-related stuff.

I do have a lot going on and a lot of stuff to do and take care of, but hardly any of it is bringing me any money and that sucks. I really want to get my own place with Christopher again soon.
asile_de_fou: (asbestos)
( Oct. 2nd, 2010 03:19 am)
Behind on a few entries... will catch up later...

But today I got an invite to beta test World of Warcraft: Cataclysm and I've been playing with the worgen. Worgen are alliance and I'm a horde player, so I think after this EP comes out, I might be bifactional.

Speculation says release date of 12/7...

The best part is that I get to play for free until I get a job. I really want to pay now, though, so I can get Loremaster before Cataclysm is released.

I was very shocked to see the invite in my email. I thought it was a fake at first and was trying to find out why it was a fake... but it wasn't fake. It was legit.

I was so happy that I cried. I cried over WoW. My life as a non-geek is officially over.
asile_de_fou: (Default)
( Sep. 30th, 2010 03:25 am)
I have a friend that is very involved in the hip hop music scene (as in he actually has CDs and stuff- not just a fan)... and I'm not fond of hip hop, really.

But I was listening to his music just now and it was like a lullaby... not that it was lullaby-esque, but I found it very relaxing.

I think I'm broken.
asile_de_fou: (Remyhead)
( Sep. 29th, 2010 01:34 am)
I spent the last few days at Chris' house. Being with him is much more relaxing than being with my mother and having her tell me all these ways that she looked up on the internet that can help cure me of my anxiety problems... One of her "cures" is to shove me in a room with her and my father and not leave until she says so.

I might not be a psychiatrist, but I really don't think that's the way to do it. So I brought all my drugs to Chris' house and we had a pow wow on his bed. We watched the finale of Scream Queens, Battle Royale, and Alice in Wonderland. We played with rats. I played the Sims while he fixed his parents computer.

I had a vacation from my family.

I took my anxiety meds twice. Both times before bed when I felt like breathing was especially difficult and all the other crazy things that were going through my head. I don't know if they really relaxed me or what, but they helped me sleep and I got the best sleep that I've had in days. It was great.

Chris and I figured out that I mostly couldn't breathe because I was focusing on my breathing the whole time and not letting breathing come naturally. I was tightening up my chest myself and controlling everything, which was a total disaster.

I am now back at my parents' house, much more relaxed and breathing like I'm supposed to (I think). Studying French and playing with Rosetta Stone really helped me focus on something else.

I don't plan on taking any meds tonight unless something happens, but I think I am mostly recovered. My breathing isn't totally normal, but it's not wrong on the scale that made me freak out... and it could just be a result of me making myself not breathe right for a long time.

I am so relieved that there wasn't something critically wrong with me.

I think that this was all withdrawal from World of Warcraft since my subscription expired a week ago...