Christopher is busy making 3D models for a contest, meaning I can't play The Sims 3 or pester him... so I decided to do a journal with random facts (and some confessions) about myself.

1.) I'm really good with make-up, despite the fact that I hardly ever wear it. However, being around stylists and make-up artists makes me feel uncomfortable and self-conscious. I also get annoyed when I'm NOT the make-up artist in a film- especially when there are gore effects. I have a small part in a short film coming up, called Zombie Punk Attack, and I'm not the make up artist. This makes me feel sick inside and makes me wonder how Savini feels when he's acting in a movie where he isn't the special effects artist. Supposedly it's someone that does it professionally, so maybe I'll learn something. It still makes me feel weird, though. Jealousy, maybe?

2.) People ALWAYS want to put me in FRONT of the camera despite the fact that I am my best (and most comfortable) behind the camera. I become a terrible, terrible person on camera. If I'm in a close-up and have set actions and lines, I will giggle incessantly. If I'm being interviewed, I become brutally honest and vicious.

3.) I subconsciously make people think that I'm more awkward than I am. This probably makes no sense, but if I know that someone thinks I'm incredibly shy or awkward, I will act upon the implied expectations ten-fold. I'm really more eccentric than awkward and more misanthropic than shy.

4.) My LiveJournal is full of exaggerations and conversations that never actually took place between my mother and me. However, the image that I fabricated is how she really is in my eyes.

5.) I absolutely hate paying someone to do something that I can do myself- especially in food or personal care junk, like manicures and pedicures. Also, a lot of the Asian women in the nail salons file nails back and forth, which makes your nails brittle.

6.) I once told my stylist in Dayton that my mother saw getting my eyebrows waxed as taboo. It's not true. My mother couldn't care less if I ever got my eyebrows waxed. However, she thinks it's silly- which is why I went through most of my life until about 8th grade with a unibrow. Even then I only got tweezed and started doing it myself after I got tired of my mother missing my eyebrow hairs.

7.) I've led people to believe that I'm sheltered. I'm not sheltered. I just don't care about a lot of things that normal people do- like drinking.

8.) I still feel like my mother controls me.

9.) I can't drink or eat anything that has been sitting around for more than 15 minutes. I feel like it's gone bad and will probably kill me or make me sick.

10.) I get really paranoid at night. I always think someone is watching me. I check behind shower curtains and run in the hallway to get away from who or whatever it is. When I was a kid, I always thought that kids in school set up spy cameras in my room to see what I was doing so they could make fun of me the next day. Once, the boy I liked said that he and his friends never actually made fun of me. I often wonder if what I'm experiencing is just paranoia or if it's really happening.

11.) I believe in ghosts and the occult and most of that stuff. It's probably because I'm paranoid and there is something wrong with my brain. I'm skeptical of other people that believe, though.

12.) I love to be helpful. I'm always ecstatic when someone comes to me looking for help because they believe I know something or am good at something. I absolutely HATE HATE HATE it when someone says, "I asked you to do this because I thought you needed it." Fighting words.

That's all I have for today.

From: [identity profile]

Interesting confessions and facts.

Some of the things about your mother (I use the word just like you use it) make me think of Psycho. Hopefully you don't start killing motel guests! :)

Eccentric is definitively a good word for you.

From: [identity profile]

weird, i am totally the same way about #10- right down to thinking people from my class were spying on me when i was a little kid. i don't know why i'm so paranoid, but i always check my closet and behind my door before i can even sleep.


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