asile_de_fou: (AMD-desk)
( Sep. 12th, 2010 07:14 pm)
I'm worried.

I guess "concerned" and "anxious" is more like it. Chris and I have every intention of getting married on October 10th- without anyone's blessing or whatever. We're just going to do it.

However, I have $2.00 in my bank account (I just attempted to pay a little more than the minimum balance on my credit card). I don't know how much Chris has in his, but I'm pretty confident it's not enough for even one month's rent. But if we get married and still don't have jobs, we're not going to be able to move in to our own apartment.

I'll probably have to continue what I'm doing right now- staying at my parents' for a day or two and then staying with Chris for several days... That's even if my parents let me stay with them. The whole idea is making me sick. I want to marry Chris- and I want to do it on the 10th because that's what we've been planning, but I'm concerned that it's not going to happen.

I have applied to Borders and Cord Camera so far. I am also working on my profile for Creatives On Call and my resume to send out to some other companies. I don't even know if anyone is hiring right now, but I feel like driving a nail through my eyeball.

I've also been considering going back to school. I've been looking at University of Cincinnati (CCM, actually) to finish my bachelor's in the same program that I got my associate's. I'm hoping that it would take less than two years because of the things I studied at WSU. I'm waiting for a response from the department head, so we'll see... but they'll probably say "Fuck that" because I dropped out of WSU in the middle of a quarter... but maybe I can plead my case?

I don't even know if that's really how I want to go about things right now.

Job first. We'll think about school later...

I'm willing to work anywhere except the food industry right now- just to get me on my feet. I wish I had known that I was FOR SURE NOT going on tour a lot sooner because I'd probably be working somewhere cool by now. I don't even want think of the series of misunderstandings about tour anymore. It just gives me even more anxiety. Communication. Is. Key.

Find a job. Find a job. Find a job.

Edit
Just sent my resume to someone looking for a Flash animator. *crosses fingers*
.

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