asile_de_fou: (Osaka)
( Aug. 19th, 2010 12:16 pm)
It's my birthday! I'll never be any younger. It's a crying shame.

I am in my 24th year... and I hate life and humanity just as much as I always have. My mother says I never grew out of my teenage angst phase and why am I still acting like this? Hmm. Maybe because going mental runs on her side of the family? PAH.

My goals for my 24th year are as follow:
Publish book- even if it's self-published
Watch all the movies I own that I've never seen
Marry Christopher
Move out of my parents' house... AGAIN!
Pay off credit card
Start my webseries
Start my personal dollhouse-thing project that really isn't a dollhouse at all... I haven't talked about it because it's absolutely insane and awesome and I don't want to give it away until I start it.
Make money.

I don't know if I want to get a job-job... and I don't know if I really want to continue doing sideshow- or at least allowing myself to go on tour for long periods of time. There are other things I want to do, and I can't do them if I'm on the road for two months! I have my doubts that Chris and I are going back on tour this fall. We talked about it with The Reverend and everything, but I think Chris might have said things he shouldn't have while in a bad mood. I don't know. I didn't read the email. But we have absolutely no idea what's going on. Ever.

And some people can be just so touchy and melodramatic.

I, on the other hand, am just completely bat shit insane and I don't know what I want anymore.

If we are going on tour, that means I have to spend the money that I don't have on cold-weather costumes and other preparations... I won't have any money left over AGAIN- so I won't be able to move to NYC like it was originally planned. I need some real plans, I guess, because these silly ideas that other people come up with DO NOT WORK. STUPID HEADS. GIVE YOURSELF ADVICE ON HOW TO NOT INTERFERE WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES AND STOP ANALYZING ME BECAUSE YOU WILL NEVER KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY TRY TO TALK TO ME ABOUT ME.

Oh, and... I'm not a homebody. I JUST DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR GAS OR LIKE PEOPLE. So there. Fuck off, you. Yeah. I said it. I'll say it again. AND TO YOUR FACE!

Happy birthday to meeeee. Not you.
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